Confronting Anger and Bargaining: The 3rd Stage of Grief

As we progress through the stages of grief, we arrive at the third stage: anger and bargaining. This stage can be particularly challenging, as we grapple with feelings of injustice, frustration, and a desire to regain control over our lives. In this article, we will explore the emotions of anger and bargaining, and provide techniques for regaining control and finding peace during this difficult stage of the grieving process. 

Understanding Anger and Bargaining

During the third stage of grief, we may experience a sense of anger, which can be directed towards ourselves, others, or even the situation itself. This anger may stem from feelings of injustice or the perceived unfairness of the loss.

Bargaining, on the other hand, is a coping mechanism that involves attempting to make deals or compromises with ourselves, a higher power, or even the universe in an effort to alleviate our pain or change the outcome of our loss. This stage can leave us feeling powerless and desperate for control.

Coping Strategies for Anger and Bargaining

1. Acknowledge and express your anger: Give yourself permission to feel and express your anger. It is essential to process these emotions in a healthy manner, whether through talking with a friend, journaling, or engaging in physical activity such as exercise.
2. Seek support: Reach out to friends, family, or a professional grief counsellor for support during this stage of grief. Sharing your feelings and discussing your experiences with others can provide a sense of relief and understanding.
3. Practice relaxation techniques: Engaging in relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing exercises, meditation, or yoga, can help to calm your mind and body during moments of heightened anger or frustration.
4. Set boundaries: Be mindful of the impact your anger may have on others and set boundaries to ensure you are not causing harm. This may involve taking time out when you feel overwhelmed or finding a safe space to express your anger without negatively affecting others.
5. Recognise the limits of bargaining: While bargaining can provide a temporary sense of control, it is important to acknowledge its limitations. Remind yourself that some things are beyond our control, and focus on accepting the reality of the situation.
6. Focus on the present: Instead of dwelling on the past or trying to change the outcome of your loss, focus on the present moment. Embrace the emotions you are experiencing and work on finding peace in the here and now.

Moving Forward

Navigating the anger and bargaining stage of grief can be a challenging and emotional experience. By employing the coping strategies outlined in this article, you can begin to regain control and find peace during this difficult stage of the grieving process.

In forthcoming articles, we will continue to explore each stage of the grief process, offering compassionate guidance and support for those experiencing loss. Remember, there is help available, and you do not have to face this journey alone.

If you’re in need of someone to talk to, don’t hesitate to reach out and contact me.